Anxiety

Tonight I am anxious; I’ve always battled with anxiety, and sometimes it washes over me without warning. I try and spend most of my time appreciating the current moment, but this is not always an easy task. Some of my anxious feelings tonight are about my financial aspirations and the future – is my FI plan just a pipe dream? Will my girlfriend eventually agree to live life in a way that is compatible with mine? If she doesn’t, can and will we reach a compromise? Does talking openly about frugality, minimalism, and money alienate my friends, family, and coworkers, or am I just being true and transparent – consequences be damned? Am I just a self-righteous ass? I am sure you’ve had these kinds of fears and anxieties about aspects of your life as well – why is it that we sometimes torture ourselves with these doubts? How can I get back to appreciating where I’m at now?

One of the ways I cope with anxiety or impatience on this path to financial independence is to read personal finance blogs. Not too long ago, I added *writing* this blog to my list of online distractions. I’ve realized that using this “hobby” as a coping strategy just seems to make me more obsessive, and sometimes mindlessly sitting down at the computer is my default activity. It is in times like these that I try and adopt some of the principles of living a balanced life: instead of checking Google reader for new posts to read, or refreshing twitter for the fourth time this hour, it would be healthier and make me happier to pursue a more fulfilling task. Nothing is more rewarding than a weekend that I utilized, full of finished projects or long relaxing days.

So is there a lesson in this introspective moment, or am I just rambling? This post boils down to a simple pep talk to myself: get off the computer, push lingering anxiety out of your mind, and go do something memorable or worthwhile. Positivity is a choice, and life is short; I think I’ll go do a little stargazing on this beautiful night.

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